DID and Littles.
DID and LITTLES (Littles being inside Alters/children) General thoughts Anyone reading Newsletters written by and for Multiples will invariably find a section for Littles, parts who range from young children to teenage. In these pages we can read their poetry, admire their drawings and share the thoughts they express on topics such as feeling safe, memories, fear, questions etc. Similarly, visiting websites for RA/SRA/DID, one can access links into a Littles' Corner where they can send in poems, draw, and interact by posting messages to each other voicing their feelings and encouraging each other with confirmation of their support and care for one another. Adults and Teenagers in a system watch protectively as these youngsters brave the outside to have their voices heard. Informed therapists read with interest and emotion as they take in not just the language peculiar to these alters that evoke smiles with their spelling and syntax, but who hear the message within the message that is the cry of the silenced child now allowed to speak. The Curious, surfing the web who come across these sites wonder at a phenomenon completely alien to anything they have encountered before. Some study with increased curiosity, others with skepticism, and a few with enough of an inquiring mind want to learn more about what they are reading, and continue to look into DID and Multiplicity with an objective to understand it. There have been volumes written about Child Psychiatry, Behavioral modalities for modifying acting out Youth, Psychological studies addressing Child Development and Character Disorders. One could go on and on listing what has been written about every aspect of what is deemed normal or pathological in the lives of young children. I have not encountered as much, or even a quarter as much, addressing the so vital population who contribute to survival of a person who is DID - namely, the Littles. The inside children who hold the early horrors and traumata when the Multiple was a child and who in parallel with their outside counterparts, are part of the imbalance of power when it comes to youngster vs. adult, victim vs. abuser, child vs. authority figure. The Inside Community There could be a tendency to forget that there is more than a chronological similarity between inside and outside children. As one would treat and work with a ritually abused child brought in by its parent for therapy there is really no difference in treating the inside Littles as far as creating a safe environment in the office, an approach and therapy molded to whatever developmental stage the child presents and evaluating the severity, length and types of abuse sustained. However, this is where the similarities end. The outside child, while s/he may or may not have siblings, is not part of a twenty-four hour, round- the- clock- with -no- separation from a community that can range from two to hundreds of other Littles, teenagers and adults. Personalities who may also be of different ethnicity as well as gender and sexual orientation. Outside children growing up in an incestuous family for example might have siblings who share the same molestations as they do, but again, they are not enclosed around the clock with several or several hundreds of others suffering from the same or different abuses of varying severity, type, duration and locations. This has a multi-mode effect as the whole community seeks to struggle with adapting to everyone's experiences, triggers, reactions and so forth. Littles, especially, will be affected by what is incomprehensible to them because of their cognitive development and inability to process trauma in the way the older parts can. Just as children in a regular setting are sensitive to, and reactive to the atmosphere in the home, so inside Littles absorb the energy levels within the body when pain, terror, stress and chaos affect the system and body, and they will react to the emotion and atmosphere predominating as well as physical pain. This results in older alters needing to calm and soothe the Little ones. It also reveals how much cohesion, cooperation, co-consciousness and ability to problem-solve is present in the system and between the system and host. By host, I am referring to the one who is predominantly in control of the body and is most often seen publicly. There is usually one or more alter whose role is to protect, monitor and play with the Littles and the responsibility of these inner helpers cannot be valued enough. I cannot emphasize enough the vital role these inner helpers play in the survival of the Multiple. Thus, in working with any Multiple, it benefits the Therapist to get to know the older ones and listen to their advice. These older alters cannot call up a neighbor, or friend or school teacher to ask for help in how to handle the acting out of petrified children. (Meaning, Littles responding to terror and pain, and who might seek to self-injure, kill themselves etc.) All are left to cope amongst themselves at any given time. This brings up the point of therapist availability in times of crisis and times when ritual dates are especially distressing causing chaos beyond the coping skills of the Multiple. The ability to calm the Littles can go a long way to helping the whole system regain stability at these times. Inside Options and Therapeutic Considerations. Please note that all places referred to in the paragraph below in this section are talking about the inside community setting, not outside. e.g. safe place, garden, friend etc. People unfamiliar with working with DID might think I am speaking of places or rooms visible to the naked eye that one can walk into. Many inside communities create a playground, park, garden, or other places where Littles can play, have fun and get to know each other. Some adult alters read stories to them and it has been helpful to make a safe place and/or sound-proof room where Littles can go when they are scared, screaming, crying and in need of comfort. Or a place to be taken to so they cannot hear, see or be distressed at certain circumstances when the body/host, is faced with highly triggering outside or inside situations. Thus, such a place can serve both as a refuge to protect Littles from inside system chaos and outside distress-causing situations, OR, a refuge where the rest of the community can continue undisturbed by the Littles' distress. Comfort can be found in a room where there are soft, cuddly stuffed animals that can be talked to and held, or crayons and paper to use, or a friend to sit with them. Some have music either inside or outside that is relaxing and soothing. There is no end to what can be made or created according to the need. These are situations that can also be brought into therapy to discuss options and who would be best to oversee whatever is planned. Not all therapists treat children, and thus, their office is bereft of toys, drawing materials, sandtray etc. If an adult client presents symptoms diagnostic of DID and is later confirmed as such it is more than likely the presence of Littles will emerge. I have personally known Littles tell me there is nothing in the office of their Therapist to play with and they are much too terrified to come out and just talk to him/her. (I am writing here of Littles who are part of a system of DID friends of mine, not clients). When working with children who have been ritually abused and who have suffered at the extreme end of the abuse continuum, there is a high probability that dissociation to block unbearable horrors from awareness has created Littles, alters who have taken over when the child's mind simply cannot contain the enormity of what is happening, and the body recoils at suffering extended torture and rape. This is especially true for Littles who have no language to describe their traumas or the cognitive development to know what they have experienced. Play therapy is the modality of choice when working with either outside or inside ritually abused children, (possibly all children), and it is an effort in futility for a therapist to think that " talk" therapy will evoke memories and evidence of abuse and enable the child to admit to it. Satanic and like structured cults have used carefully planned and graded forms of torture, murder, (either observed and/or participated in), intimidation and physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse to gain mind control of the victims as well as ensure their silence. Additionally, cult trainers manipulate alters and train them to respond to access codes so they can be called out at will, e.g. to return to the cult which they call home. Amnesiac barriers against the intolerable pain and terror are extremely difficult to penetrate and the risk of therapists terminating the work when they think there is no more to hear, need to be mindful of the extremes of dissociation that have been built up to survive. There may be further abuse that has not surfaced and premature termination can only result in future return to presenting problems. It needs also to be remembered that the influence of drugs given prior to or during torture can and will affect recall but no one can really give a hundred percent accurate description of an incident. In the case of extreme sadistic abuse sustained in child pornography, prostitution and cult rituals, Littles are more likely to have an accurate description of what has happened than the dissociated adult sitting in the office. Play therapy allows a symbolization of the story of these Littles and it would benefit any Therapist to have on hand, if not a sand tray/sandbox, at least some toys and materials that can be used for silent expression of their trauma. Many Littles are able to express themselves in poignant and vivid description by writing poetry, but play therapy has more direct potential for working through the traumata. Inappropriate affect on the part of an outside child to what they are playing out results from dissociation from the event. When skillfully and gently approached to elicit the child's idea of how the characters they use might be feeling about what is happening, is one way emotion can be linked to him/herself. The therapist in taking on the role of different characters presented can express the feelings appropriate to the scenario, e.g. ' I am scared; I don't want to eat (drink) this; I feel dirty; Where's my mom, I want to get away from here, I want to go home!" This approach to abreactive play therapy is more effective than traditional "talk" therapy so often insisted upon by uninformed therapists who are not flexible in their mode of doing therapy. It is also very effective with Littles. Ritually abused Littles who feel safe enough to come out and participate in the therapist-child interaction can gradually piece together the different parts of a memory and trauma as the play scenarios are worked through and affective abreaction breaks down the dissociative barriers. A saying if mine posits that, " Feeling is healing" and this is, to my mind, essential to deep and lasting healing for Littles or ritually abused children whether cult involved or not. One Little shared with me that her therapist sat back in his chair and never talked to, or played with her. It is imperative that there be interactive communication between Littles and the therapist for effective work to be done. Special Issue. Sometimes, the host or predominant one in control of the body and the one who is out most is a child. This can create a phenomenon in which a woman in her forties presents to the world as a mother with children of her own who might be older than the Personality in control of the body. A young teenage boy would not understand that the mother he looks to for nurturance, guidance and the meeting of daily needs is, in fact, only twelve years old herself. In these instances, a family session with the therapist is vital to provide explanation, support and education around the situation and its implications. When aware this phenomenon can occur it can be useful in a variety of situations. A DID friend of mine was hospitalized and it is understood that hospitalization for any DID is usually extremely traumatizing, (see article, DID and Emergency Room/Crisis Center Guidelines), and for my friend there was no one, no personality (host or alter), who was willing to be out while in the hospital except a ten year old little girl. I was informed by the outside teenage daughter of who had control of the body of her mother, so when I called the Hospital the ten year old alter answered. I called this part by name and the relief was palpable - she could now be ten years old and not have to keep trying to act like an adult far beyond her years but be herself. She was able share her fears and pain not only around the body's physical condition but also the emotional and psychological trauma sustained from medical staff who did not understand, believe in, or accept multiplicity. The staff, in passing critical judgment of their own perceptions refused to give her medication that would have helped decrease the night terrors. This young Alter described how the night had gone for them and again, this reminded me of the urgency and importance of educating medical, mental health and law enforcement professionals as well as school administrators so such blatant mistreatment can be avoided. Final note. One of the most deeply moving questions put to me by a Little, was asked in response to an older alter telling this child that I was kind. The Little asked me, " Does kind mean a big hit or a little hit?" In that one sentence lies the vulnerability to the distortion, deception, manipulation, and lies that are indelibly printed on the minds of young children where abusers through terror, intimidation, pain, threats and torture are able to make a child believe that cruelty is kindness. That God is weak and Satan all-powerful, that they are to be blamed for the horrific things done to them and that they, in turn, have been forced to do to others. The cult has taught them that they must hurt themselves if they fail to comply in the way expected (often explained as the child being accident-prone when such self-abuse is noted by outsiders as a frequent occurrence) and all the vast range of life time after effects that a Multiple must deal with. Struggling with school, adolescence, adulthood, relationships, marriage etc. that become such a consuming challenge to the spirit of endurance and survival. It is to be hoped that more therapists will attend to a greater understanding of the presence, significance and importance of the role of Littles in the healing of Multiples. They are not cute little youngsters to be pampered and played with in spite of the temptation to want to do this, and the human tendency to want to deny, disbelieve the truth of their horrendous histories. It is possible to hide behind that denial to delay facing reality, but Littles are no less in need of sound and effective therapy than adults who turn up for session. Clear boundaries are vital, gentleness an essential, and above all, a listener who believes what is told in so many ways through the only expressions a Little can offer. Often without words. Healing does not mean dwelling continually on the morbidity of trauma. It includes being able to laugh as well as cry, create pretend scenarios along with real ones and to know the difference, and in the journey, to be able to learn a little about trust, safety, comfort and truth, all of which have been denied them from infancy. It is to be desired that through interaction with these small heroes and heroines we have the privilege of meeting, known as Littles, they can learn in the healing that being kind will not be felt as a little or big hit, rather, it is something that can sink into the soil of innocence and the sense of self their abusers have tried to destroy, but when watered sufficiently, can bloom and become a thing of caring and true love. Goessoftly Retired Therapist. www.goessoftlyishere.com (permission for reprints is required)    | Normalizing and Demystifying DID | DID and Littles.(Child/Young Alters) | ISOLATION | Mono's Disbelief | Distortion: Good and Evil | ASPECTS OF BODY CHANGES | Relationships | Across The Board | Across The Board | FORGIVENESS | I am BAD | Headaches | LYING AND DECEPTION | LOST and LOSS | EYES | Controversy. 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