EYES There is an adage that says, "Eyes are the mirror of the soul". Since childhood, Eyes are the first thing I look at when I encounter people, paintings or photographs. My belief is, that unless one has spent a lifetime in seeking to disguise ones true feelings it is impossible to hide truth from ones eyes. Eyes do not lie. A mouth can be smiling as though the world is one vast wealth of happiness but travel higher to the eyes and look deeply into them, and one might see torment, fear and immeasurable grief. How is this? It is my firm conviction that eyes cannot lie, and perhaps they DO mirror the soul? I believe they reflect a truer picture of a heart and mind state and tell it more accurately than the rest of the body's language. ( see Innocuous Interview ?. at: www.goessoftlyishere.com) So how is this helpful in the healing process? Do eyes have a bearing on how a survivor can understand their inner world by "seeing" its reflection in their orbs? Do eyes have a bearing on how well the therapist is able to accurately assess the inner condition and experience of their client? One might ask why eyes are required to focus when stage hypnotists dangle their trance-inducing tools, or subjects ordered to look at a light or other stimulus during interrogation, and yet another method of relaxation is to close the eyes and listen to a hypnotic voice or music. Some therapies involve eye movement and eye contact to work through memories in what is believed to be the least traumatic way. Inherent in all these modalities is the presence of a direct pathway between outer and inner worlds with eyes being the conduit. One could state that ears are also such a conduit but they are limited to sound and reception of sound from outer to inner world. It is not a two way transmission. One does not transfer information directly through an ear. By the time sound has been received through the ear, processed via synapse and neuron pathways till the response if required, becomes intepreted into words, it emerges through the mouth, not the ear. The same process follows with smell or tactile experiences. Eyes do not need a voice to express their emotions or memories. They mirror emotion that is present, scenes engraved in memory and reactions to what is experienced through hearing, smelling, tasting, touching and psychological stimuli. Actors and actresses spend countless hours to capture emotions that are not present in them but needed for their roles and to be seen in close shots of their faces. Interrogators, abusers, corrupt research scientists using Mind Control experiments all watch their subjects' eyes as indicators of the progress of their modes of torture. Studying drawings given to me by clients through the years, the one outstanding feature in all of them where heads are included, have been the expression depicted in the eyes. Horror, terror, unblocked memory, fathomless sorrow, lived-through nightmares, the video is endless. So how can this direct way of interworld communication be best utilized in the healing process? The most elementary example would be the one mentioned above in " Innocuous Interview?", where one notices the disparity between mouth and eye expressions. From this basic observation that is often missed but that can open a wealth of material to explore there is a continuum of revelation and understanding that manifests with practiced eye reading as a skill. I am posting this piece under the Dissociative Identity Disorder section because in my work with Multiples where the one body holds many, and usually few to many parts/entities clearly distinct from the host, ( the person most often functioning in the outside world), the therapist has the privilege of contacting, recognizing and helping such inner parts by recognizing the shift of personality/emotion/ reaction that appears in the eyes. In this recognition lies the doorway into the inner world directly accessed rather than needing "talk" therapy or reading body langauge which can be completely in contradiction to felt inner states, or needing to enquire about inappropriate affect between facial expression and the content of discussion. About thirteen years ago a client brought some of her beautifully drawn and painted art for me to study. The first thing I commented on were her eyes, since they were all self portraits of different aspects of her story. We spent a good number of sessions exploring together the story her eyes were telling us and found this to be more accurate than what her present memory was relaying due to the instinctive self -protective mechanism to automtically block trauma too difficult and threatening to verbalize. What surfaced from her eye stories led to some key factors in discovering what had happened. It felt more authentic to her since she had evidence in front of her that SHE had produced. This was not a therapist's interpretation of anything she said, it was confirmation of feeling and instinct she was experiencing and had had doubt about, put into perspective. Some things previously unclear now enabled her to get in touch with emotions that had seemed too overwhelming and frightening to face before. Basically, studying her eyes helped this brave woman identitfy with herself by looking into her inner world in a way words and other methods could not accomplish for her. Some Mutliples have asked me how I could tell when their parts had switched and while there are many body shifts in positions, age behaviors, voice changes and individualistic presignals, it is the eyes I notice first that change. Every part/entity/alter in a system has their own role and assigmnment to fulfill and whatever brings them out will be different from one who has been out and it is logical that their expression will not be the same. Expressions may be friendly, hostile, benign, rageful, warm, cold, a plethora of attitudes accepting or rejecting of both client and therapist - but it is a significant clue to follow up and much more likely to be relevant to the true inner happenings than other physical variables. The ability to see the inner world of a multiple or mono/singleton is crucial to their healing. It depicts not only the trauma sustained but how it affected, influenced and was dealt with at the time, but also what has been carried over into the present and is hindering functionality and quality of life today. For the mono, a true reflection of their inner turmoil and distresse showing through their eyes cannot be refuted when experienced as being in synch with their perceived internal state. This can be very confirming and validate their past for them. For the multiple, a therapist can recognize and reach parts of a system in a non-threatening way by simple quiet observation. For parts who seek to avoid eye contact because of fear, shame, guilt, hostility or shyness I have asked sometimes if the alter would look in MY eyes, (in a mirror so there isn't direct contact). They can see if they can find assurance of my motive and intention for it is very hard to fool insiders whose experience has been of necessity to read abusers and strangers accurately and quickly. Some might pooh pooh this request as not being possible. What I have found, contrary to some beliefs, is that some parts will never make themselves known ( and some don't), but in almost all I have encountered who have been in the hundreds, deep inside is a desperate desire to be heard, to be understood, to be cared for, and they want very deeply to be reassured that someone will validate their existence. This desperation to be acknowledged can overcome shyness and fear and even hositlity where there is a trusting alliance between client and therapist. There are introjects,(parts representing abusers) who have been introjected with the need to maintain a connection with the real abusers, or as purposely created parts during programming research and experimentation, whose role is to destroy, kill and self-destruct. But these introjects often disappear or remove themselves as healing progresses, or they can be talked to and understand how they came to be. Eyes, therefore, are much much more than organs of sight. They may indeed be a mirror of the soul - they ARE, in my mind, a doorway to a client's inner world through which I can enter more quickly than by other methods. It has been a difficult adjustment for me in my work to practice this skill since by reason of ethnicity, it is the height of rudeness to stare directly at another, and to HOLD that look,is insulting. It is helpful to keep in mind cultural aspects of how looking at another is interpretated, since western thought often associates NOT looking at another directly as a sign of shiftiness and questionable trustworthiness. Whether client or therapist this variable of eye use needs to be addressed. At the beginning of my practice I would inform my clients of my instinctive habit of not looking directly at them but that indeed, I was better able to truly focus and concentrate on what they had to say by looking else where. I soon discovered that it felt to them as though I really wasn't interested in what they were saying, or them, and changed my ways! Since those days many years ago, I cannot learn enough about how eyes not only reveal all physical anomalies but are one of the most helpful tools in pinpointing true emotions, mental states and telling stories not otherwise read in the book of my client's presentation. Do eyes mirror the soul? Let us look in them and decide for ourselves if we see what is spiritual, what is of good or what is of evil, what is true and what is false, what is fact and what is fiction. Eyes do not lie. Without the gifts they give us we remain blind. We need to be able to SEE in all respects. Goessoftly Retired Therapist www.goessoftlyishere.com (reprints by permission only)   | Normalizing and Demystifying DID | DID and Littles.(Child/Young Alters) | ISOLATION | Mono's Disbelief | Distortion: Good and Evil | ASPECTS OF BODY CHANGES | Relationships | Across The Board | Across The Board | FORGIVENESS | I am BAD | Headaches | LYING AND DECEPTION | LOST and LOSS | EYES | Controversy. Research projects. | Feeling is Healing | Alone and Aloneness | VICTIM or VICTOR ? | TEARS | Medication and DID | DID Emergency Room/Casualty and Crisis Center Guid | Acknowledging The Inside Community | The NO TALK Rule. Silencing. | | THE HEALING PROCESS | DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER | POETRY | Biographical Entries | THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE | STORIES FOR LITTLES (Pigmus and friends) | SEEDLING THOUGHTS TO WATER | | Return Home | Great Links | Sign/View Guestbook | |
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