LOOKING FOR ME I looked at you From infant eyes of wonder, A babe in arms Unable yet to talk. And in your eyes I looked for confirmation Of my need for love, Security and comfort and sense of being. You frowned. My gurgle faded Lips puckered, and My sob became a wail. You put me down With reprimand and scolding, And left me looking at the wall. I looked at you In all my nascent joy Of expectation And childlike wonder at a world born new. As toddler, clutching in his grubby hand A wriggling frog. I tried to share my rare discovery. " Take that creature out at once ! I don't want you bringing Dirty animals inside the house". I backed off as you raised your voice And sidled out the door. I only hoped to ask you Where he kept his croak. I looked at you A tousled youngster. Freckled. Growing. Proud of small accomplishments. I offered you my work of art, A ship of clay, (albeit out of shape). You glanced at it and said, "Be sure you don't Mess up the table top. You better take it to your room". I hid my hurt And walked upstairs. I looked at you So many times To find in your expression Some acknowledgement Of all my right to BE. My goals, ambitions, Spontaneity. I've listened for an echo Of my proud and boastful song - For quick response to this And recognition of my individual worth. Somewhere I've lost my confidence. And no more Am I looking for myself - A true reflection in your eyes. For when I look I only see uncertainty, And do not understand That it is not directed at your son But has to do With all the unresolved Internal conflicts that are YOURS. Tell Us The Reason Why. 1986 Goessoftly Retired Therapist www.goessoftlyishere.com (Permission for reprints is required)  | Goddess with Flaws | Remembering | ACCEPTANCE | LOOKING FOR ME | CHANGE | My SELF | LAST REQUEST | CON. HUMILIATED | Fugitive Thoughts | A WISH | To a Friend | Teetering | Pain | CHALLENGE | Groundwork; Could Be; Comfort | LOVE THE CHILD | YOU DO NOT KNOW ME | Contemplating Suicide | ON THE COUCH | Can you sit and do NOTHING ? | LOSS ( a friend) | The Emperor and Silence is a Vote | Two Poems | I MISS You,Friend | The Other Side | WHAT WILL THE ANSWER BE ? | One Small Tear | I Wish | | THE HEALING PROCESS | DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER | POETRY | Biographical Entries | THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE | STORIES FOR LITTLES (Pigmus and friends) | SEEDLING THOUGHTS TO WATER | | Return Home | Great Links | Sign/View Guestbook | |
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